Nya! (nya nya nya nya nya!)

My father rolled down the window of his old-man-gold Honda CRV.

“Whats going on over there? Is there a bear?”

There was in fact. A black bear sow and her cub. Climbed up a tree and profoundly wishing that they hadn’t been spotted by tourists. We were of course in Yellowstone National park. We pulled over on the side of the road. There was no room, but we did it anyways; just like everyone else. The Italian tourist jumped out of the car to get his pictures. He had been waiting for this moment for months. The final crescendo to his Montana vacation. He even got a bear paw tattoo on his left shoulder. His first tattoo. Dork.

We stayed in the car and waited while buttmunches honked their horns. Didn’t we know that they wanted to get somewhere? What the fuck was our problem for stopping for a man who had literally flown around the world, and permanently marked his skin, just for the fleeting hope of seeing this creature?

Eventually we made it out of the park. We saw the geyser. We saw the Elk, Big horned sheep, Goats, Grizzly (at an extreme distance), and bacteria infested hotpots. But as our Yellowstone adventure neared its end…

I was looking for a different type of wildlife…

We missed our dinner reservations at the hot springs. So we hung out in Gardiner, the town immediately north of the park. It had been a long day so we decided to get coffee.

My player senses tingled… There she was making our drinks. Asian. Chinese if I had to guess. It really is all in the eyes. Her eyes read her soul clearer than any words. Bored. Frustrated. Horny…

Luckily there were some seats at the end of the counter. Ive found out by writing this shit down that I run my best game when I’m parked on my rear end. Probably something to do with the fact that if I’m sitting it puts me into the state of non-neediness and outcome independence. Because hey. You go wherever you want. Ill be here. Comfortable as fuck.

“You look bored.”

That was my opener. Nothing really, but she wholeheartedly agreed. There really isn’t much more to write down. Its the worst example of non-game I can think of. I literally didn’t say anything clever, emotional, or creative in any way. All I did was talk to her about her work program, shitty coworkers, and how she had no friends in town. I got her Facebook profile, since she didn’t have a number being Taiwanese and all, and sent her the message- “We should hang out sometime”

She messaged me a few times and invited me over to “”watch movies”” the next night.

Holy fuck.

I seriously didn’t do shit, but I wasn’t gonna look a gift horse in the mouth. Especially when this girl is at least an 8. (trying to be conservative with my rankings here)

Three hours of driving to my parents place where my truck was, doing chores all day, and three hours of driving back to Gardiner. I hadn’t eaten since lunch. I stopped at a gas station to get an energy drink just to make it to town.

My seduction went flawlessly. Its getting pretty easy for me these days. I think Ive finally got the hang of it. I used to idolize these guys that banged hot women all the time. Some I still do in some ways… But when I started out I never thought it would get this easy for ME.

Right. Into the bedroom. Condom equipped.

One thrust.

Two thrust.

Oh god no!

NOT YET! 

OOOOHHHH SHHHIIIIIT!

I came. Then after that a reserve of cum bubbled up.

My reserves were gone too.

By the time I changed condoms I was completely limp… And I could tell I was gonna stay that way. I spent an awkward night not explaining anything to her. She was sorely disappointed. There was nothing to say. I left unceremoniously at 5 in the morning and drove home.

As I suffered through horrible sage allergies while riding the next day, the last night was all I could think about. To top it all off the cattle did. not. want. to. move… At all… In-between sneezing fits and runny eyes I resolved to get to the bottom of why this happened to me.

Thats why it offended me a little when a commenter on my last bang post questioned my truthfulness. This shit is motherfucking embarrassing man! Im trying to post shit that actually will help people.

So without further ado, the primary causes of PREMATURE EJACULATION are-

1. Sky high blood sugar levels. – I hadn’t eaten for 6-8 hours, then had copious amounts of sugar in the form of that energy drink.
2. A novel sexual experience. – Ive only ever had one other asian before, and guess what? Her pussy was extremely tight too.
3. Constant sexual fantasizing. – Guilty as charged.
4. Being tired. – I was dog tired by the time I got it in. Think about the cliche of the working husband orgasming… and immediately falling asleep.

I could have left it alone. But thats not much of a challenge is it? I had to go back and redeem myself. I sent her a message saying I fancied her (a little beta, but it worked) and said in a roundabout way that that shit usually doesn’t happen to me. Of course I got my second chance and preformed much better. She actually remarked about my stamina.

But one funny thing I noticed was at the heat of the moment she said. “No.”

I stopped.

“No?”

“Uhh… I mean yes?”

So I started again. After a while I realized she wasn’t saying no. She was saying Nya.

I have no idea what nya means, but I like it…

Nya.

Nya nya nya! Nya! Nya!

NYAAAAAAAA!!!

haha. Im still fucking this one. Messing with her head in a big way. She probably hasn’t met many men with GAME.

I’ll keep you posted.