The Great Ketogenic Crusade

In this post, I will be outlining what I learned from being in ketosis for 6 weeks.

What is ketosis?

Its a metabolic state your body adopts in order to survive a famine of carbohydrates. The fat you eat is transformed while you sleep, into ketone bodies. These ketone bodies act as a substitute for carbohydrates.

Why enter into ketosis?

There are many reasons, If you were born with acute childhood epilepsy, a ketogenic diet helps to manage seizures. Im assuming that you’re healthy though, so the long and short of it is; to lose weight. With keto, its possible to lose fat quickly without losing muscle mass. Don’t ask me why, I’m not a scientist. All I can do is give you the account of what I experienced, and indeed, I lost fat without losing muscle. I went to the supplement store at the beginning and end of my 6 weeks to find that my fat percentage went down (by 3%), while my muscle percentage remained constant. Maybe fat loss isn’t even your main goal. The foods you will eat on keto are all going to be extremely clean. No preservatives, no artificial chemicals. This is simply due to the fact that most of the artificial shit we eat is added to carbohydrates. In fact, while in a state of deep ketosis, you can actually eat less while having more energy. A little goes a long way when you aren’t dealing with glycogen bloating that accompanies high carb diets. All very good reasons to give the ketogenic diet a try. This diet isn’t without its drawbacks, but Ill get to those in a minute.

What can I eat on keto?

Fats, meats, fat, leafy green vegetables, more fat, and non-carbohydrate supplements. The trick here is animal fat. Canola oil isn’t going to cut it. You want fats that are rich in medium and long-chain triglycerides. These long fat chains are actually what your body transforms into ketone bodies, which you will be using for fuel. Once you eat your healthy fats, you want to focus on protein. Moderate protein is recommended for the most weight loss because you can actually stall your progress if you eat too much meat. I, being a carnivore (with access to as much steak as I want) probably overdid it on the meat, but still lost significant amounts of weight. Leafy green veggies do contain carbohydrates, but the important thing to remember here is that the brain NEEDS carbs to function. So in addition to supplying your 30-50 grams of carbs that your brain absolutely must have, greens will provide you with vitamins and minerals, along with fiber. Fiber is vital if you want to take a shit, which doesn’t happen very often if you’re doing Keto right. (About once every three or four days)

Sounds Great. What else?

When you first dive into the ketogenic diet its important to remember that you are gonna feel like absolute dog poop. You’ve eaten carbs your whole life, so suddenly depriving yourself of them is going to throw your body and metabolism into a tailspin. Keto coaches on the internet like to refer to this as the “Keto Flu”. You may experience complete loss of energy, horrible headaches, mental fog, joint pain, and general moodiness. One essential thing I should mention is that your body gets essential electrolytes, like niacin and potassium from the carbohydrates you are used to eating. So supplement with these two electrolytes heavily in order to adapt quickly. I was lucky to just loot my 80 year old grandmas medicine cabinet to find a slow release niacin supplement and get my potassium supplement from my 85 year old grand-dad. He uses a salt substitute that is pure potassium, its called “no salt”. Remember that gatorade is off the table, and that if you neglect these supplements you will be eternally thirsty. Absolute hell.

That sounds terrible! Why should I bother?

Its not all bad. Im a meat eater so the transition period for me only lasted about 3 days. For some people it can take a week or more, but once your body is keto adapted it feels like a fresh mountain breeze. You aren’t constantly digesting food, but you still have energy. Once you have fought off the initial carb cravings, you won’t even want them anymore. (most of the time.) There is a mental aspect to this diet as well which is very seductive. Once your brain is running off ketones you will feel an indescribable calm. The best way I can relate it is the feeling after you come out of an hour long meditation session. Except it lasts all day. You wake up in the morning feeling zen and alert.  Every day. Your body will flush out all the extra water that it no longer needs for processing carbs. For me this is about 3-4 pounds. The weight is insignificant when compared to how much lighter you FEEL though. Movement is easier without that water weight and your muscles get more toned and defined. Eating only once of twice a day becomes a viable option.

Whats the catch?

There are plenty. The biggest downside for me was the fact that I have a physical job. I couldn’t lift as hard and heavy as I was used to. I work with a couple of 50 year old men and I was brought down to their level. Carbs burn hot for big power. Without them, you pretty much have no choice but to take it easy. This isn’t even the worst part though. All the online keto coaches out there will brush the worst part of keto off like its nothing, but trust me, once you give this diet a shot, you’ll understand what I mean when I say You can’t eat fucking anything! Seriously its bad. Rhubarb pie? Nope. Bacon Cheeseburger? Ya, but without the bun. Pasta? Get lost. Morning oatmeal? No way. Fruit Salad? Not for you. BEER? You see where I’m going with this right? It gets really old after a while. Honestly, Im surprised I made it six weeks. But! I went from just under 200 pounds to 176. Thats 25 pounds (of pure fat) in six weeks on a guy who’s in decent shape already. It really is an incredible diet.


If you are a serious fat fuck who wants to lose massive amounts of weight in a short time, without even exercising, go for it. Otherwise, there are probably better options out there for you.

Up next – P90x I have a feeling this will be a better overall fit for my lifestyle.