I suffer from night terrors. At least, I used to. They started around the tail end of 2012 and kept up with me until a few months ago. I remember looking up the term “night terrors” on the interwebz and found the defining characteristic between a night terror and and regular nightmare; is that a night terror is so distressful, that it will waken you in the middle of the night. This startled sweaty awakening would happen at least twice a week. But that didn’t mean that the other nights were peaceful.
What sorts of monstrosities plagued me? Locust devouring the entire world. Centipedes and cockroaches crawling in toilets filled to the brim with diarrhea. Hot chicks, who I was violently fucking, morphing udders and the pot bellies of pregnant cattle. Trumped up charges at traffic stops leading the gestapo to imprision me; the cold bars slamming shut on my cell. Having sex with my own sister for christs’ sake.
Where were these horrors coming from? Am I really that sick?
Naturally I learned many advanced (Im assuming) lucidity techniques. I had to. Flying, voluntary scene change, violent retaliation against my assailants, restarting over and over until I reached a different result. As I got better at being asleep, I realized that I could start having snippets of discussion with my assailants. As I started to think of my nemeses as separate from my own consciousness I was more able to effectively block him/it. I learned a few good tricks. Looking at any sort of reflective surface to check my face would always reveal the dream state as an illusion. I could never see my face in a dream. The reflection went right through me, or another cheap trick, showed the back of my head instead of the face. If I ever had the sense to demand the name of my assailant the dream would always end.
One night after waking again, sweat pouring off me, I said “You disgust me.”
I never expected to hear back…
“Nothing disgusts you!”
Was it in my mind? Did something say that out loud? Am I really schizophrenic!? I decided to do what any person would who likes to fancy themselves sane. I ignored it.
I was going to take the new puppy for a walk for the first time. Its good to train the cow dogs to stick with you. Otherwise they will just run all over tarnation and won’t get anything done. I had no vehicle so instead of a real collar, I just cut down an old belt and put it around his neck. Then I used two lengths of baling twine and tied them together. I set the twine and belt down to take a piss. When I came back and picked up the makeshift leash and collar the twine was cut. Severed. Like someone had taken and knife to it. According to practical physics, that is not possible. Something was whole. Then it was not. I wasn’t just mistaken or imagining things. I was actually grateful that it happened. See I had suspected for a while, but now I knew for certain.
Something was following me…