I really was tempted to name this post “Cows are Assholes” but that title didn’t really get to the heart of the issue. In my travels I have uncovered yet another subliminal politically correct motif, that considering my line of work, is especially irritating. It goes a little something like this.

“Do you know what they do to those animals before slaughter? Its completely inhumane. If you saw the process I’m sure you would change your mind about animal rights.”

Notice what they did there? They managed to take the morally high ground without offering any specifics, and more importantly, without offering any solutions. Rhetorical genius. In fact I do know what they do to the animals before slaughter. They line them up. If they won’t get in line they poke and hit them with sticks. If thats not enough motivation, they use sticks with electricity. Yes, its completely inhumane. But thats the point of this post.

Anthropomorphization -to ascribe human form or attributes to (an animal, plant, material object, etc.)

Animals are not humans. To assign our morality to them is asinine. They are a crop for harvest. Im going to cut these spouters of nonsense some slack because they’ve never worked with livestock. I guarantee that if they spent one year in my occupation they would completely revise their position on animal rights. 99% of the things we do for our cattle are for their own good. But do we ever get the benefit of the doubt? No. Its a fight the entire way. Every step of the way they oppose us. Their cowardly herd mentality is the only thing that keeps them together. As far as I can tell, they have no fondness at all for their fellow herd members. They would clean up all the feed and let a fellow herd member who was crippled starve to death. Me first. The only time they present a danger to us is when they are beat on until they are worked into a frothy mouthed frenzy. This is why we rarely do that. Its not in our best interests to abuse the animals under our charge. I spend my days making sure they have fresh water, plenty of food, all the right vaccinations and medical care, and what do I have to look at day after day? They shit in their fresh feed that we labour to provide for them and grind it in with their feet. One cow will casually lap up the dribbling piss of another. They routinely shit on each others heads, and neither party seems to notice or care. When a cow has twins, she will pick one to feed and kick the other calf off her udder until it starves. Our bulls will routinely butt heads. Sometimes when two are busy fighting, a third party comes in at a full charge and breaks the leg or shoulder of one of the combatants. Cheap shot. Cows are assholes. They have no rights because they deserve no rights. They don’t deserve to be treated humanely because they are not humans. You have no idea the true depths of selfish cowardice until you’ve met a cow.

So then now that I’ve illuminated to you the nature of livestock, how do you propose we “humanely” get them to go into the death chute? Yes I agree the electric prod is rather cruel. So why don’t you go up and explain to the animal that its time to pay us back for all the work we’ve put into raising it. See how far that gets you. Besides, a pneumatic hammer is about the most quick and painless death I or anyone else can conceive of. I know if I was on death row, I would rather get smacked and have it all over in one second that get injected with poison and squirm and writhe in agony for minutes at a time.

Unless you’re a complete vegan, I don’t really want to hear about animal rights. But wait a second Mr. VeganMcSkinnyJeans… I bet you didn’t think about the millions of rodents that get ground up in grain combines during harvest time. See… No matter how you look at it, for you to live, something else has to die. Its the way of  the world. Take that little red pill. Have yourself a good cry. And meet me in the real world.


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