I kept hearing the Blee-boo-dee-blee of her phone as the text messages rolled in. One after another. This was around the time that I had her in a brand new ball-gag that Id purchased on a trip out of town to acquire new dungeons and dragons books. Last night I discovered an awesome new sex position. Im pretty sure its only viable on the shorties because taller woman’s legs would probably be too long. Anyway, you start in missionary and put her feet, soles facing each other, directly between your pecks. This adds a sort of spring to help take some of the work out of thrusting. Another added benefit is it frees up your hands to grab her wrists and hold her in place so she doesn’t get any ideas about going anywhere. She insisted we put on a movie while falling asleep. I let her pick, and wasn’t disappointed when she selected Kung-pow! Enter the Fist. She fell asleep in the first ten minutes, but I laughed my ass off.
The next morning she finally came out with the story of the incessant text messages from last night. Before our rendezvous she had attended a movie as friends with a couple of townies. Apparently the one who kept messaging her had misinterpreted the outing of asexual friends as an intimate love triangle filled with subterfuge and diverging interests. He of course viewed the other male as direct competition, and her seeing a movie with the both of them as a form of malicious cuckoldry. She showed me the text messages and I will paraphrase as best as I can remember.
10:47 Im extremely pissed at you.
10:53 That was the most embarrassing thing Ive ever had to go through.
11:27 If you like him blah blah blah blah need to respect me blah blah blah totally fucking embarrassing blah blah blah blah call me when you grow up…
Alright lets delve into this behavior a little bit. Its obvious from the amount of time he spent poking around on his phone that he is invested in this woman. All pretense of not giving a shit is thrown out the window when you decide to send that first text. Also, great opener. “Im extremely pissed at you”… When has something like that ever elicited a positive response? Never. Next; if thats the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever experienced then you really need to get out of this one horse town for a few years. The rest is just disgusting verbal diarrhea that does nothing but put out negative vibes and further lower his value as a potential suitor.
I understand what he’s thinking. As hard as that is to admit… He’s thinking that by putting in the effort to type down his dissatisfaction in a fucking novel that the woman will interpret that as a sign of commitment and a willingness to communicate. Sorry dude, but all she sees is whining and bitching. Period. Women can be such happy creatures. I like to believe that their natural state is capricious, whimsical, and euphoric, without taking anything at all too seriously. The more you mirror their natural state, the more excuses you give them to bounce happily along right onto the end of your penis. This dudes small town scarcity mentality coupled with his ingrained feminine primacy does nothing but bite him in the ass at every turn. It is however very unlikely that he will ever reconsider his standard operating protocol.
Also, whats with all the words buddy? Wanna know what I texted her to get her to come over and fornicate all night?
9:30 Hey, come over tonight and we’ll kick it.
Edit: I probably am ripping off Heartiste for the title, but it just applied so well.