Closing Thoughts for #NoNothingNovember

Here are a few things that occurred to me while abstaining from my vices.


Technology really is effecting our way of life. For example, it wouldn’t even be possible to develop this nasty habit in a world without our current technology. I was alive and masturbating before the boom of the internet. When I did it was 5 minutes of dry rub off, then I was done. Now millions of gents waste hours a day touching their weiners. Its really kind of pathetic. But, I guess its evolve or die. Trying to use that energy for more productive endeavors.

It occurred to me sort of out of the blue, that lesbianism is of no benefit to me. Outside pornography it doesn’t do me any favors at all. I have yet to have a threesome, but until that magic day actually arrives I will continue to think of real life lesbians as unattractive and kinda awkward. Just speaking from experience here.

Sugar Water

This was the most difficult. Sugar tastes good. Its in pretty much all soft drinks. The only time I went to a fast food joint during the month of november I saw a soda dispenser that had a touch screen interface. It looked like something outta Star Trek. I got excited and forgot entirely about the challenge. About halfway through drinking 32 oz I remembered the challenge and payed attention to my body. A sort of dull buzzing went through my veins and I was actually more sluggish than before.

Water actually tastes good. Because its non carbonated you can actually leave it out and drink it at your own pace. It doesn’t go bad nearly as fast as sugared drinks. I bought a Brita water pitcher to take the massive amounts of calcium out of our well water. Whaddaya know, I actually like drinking water. Tea is good also.

Chewing Tobacco

Im really on the fence about this one. On the one hand its most certainly bad for you. On the other… I like it. The amount of nicotine in chew is 8 times the amount per dose thats in cigarettes. Nicotine is a vasoconstrictor. So its bad news when trying to put on muscle. It also has loads of sodium as another addictive agent. Mmm… Salt.

I dunno… Ill probably go back to chewing. Everyones gotta have a character flaw right? My pops has been quit for 20+ years, and he says that still; sometimes after a nice filling meal… He wants a chew. So Ill probably never be free of this devil, but I can try to limit my consumption to a couple cans a week. Like anything it can be used as a crutch for stress.


To say I enjoyed this challenge would be a baldfaced lie. But it was in my best interests. Its not in my nature to turn down a challenge. We have to harness our masculine virtue of competition to get shit done. Id Like to see more challenges from Kid Strangelove. But I need a willpower recharge for now. Perhaps #JettisonTheJelloJanuary?


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